Interview from Annoyance zine
This interview was done by Anthony through the mail in late '94 with
Lance, guitarist and vocalist of one of the best pop-punk bands around
today, J Church. Read on and live them.
ANNOYANCE- You seem to have put stuff out on a few labels, do you hope
to just stay with one, or is it a goal to be on as many as possible?
J CHURCH- People always ask to do records for their label. If we like
them and we have stuff available, we do it. We love 7"s. I've always
loved singles. If I had my way, we would do a new single every month.
ANNOY- What is your least favorite seasoning or condiment and why?
J CHURCH- Seasonings? Every season has its time and place. As for condiments,
I don't like non-egg mayo. Veganism is cool and all, but vegan mayo sucks.
ANNOY- Have the major labels come a'knockin' yet? What did/will you do?
J CHURCH- They have. We haven't. We may. We may not. Realistically? Not
ANNOY- Ten years ago, where did you think you'd be in 15 years?
J CHURCH- Ten years ago I was 17 and I wanted to be a writer or a rockstar.
ANNOY- What do you think of cereals these days, what with brighter colour
Fruit Loops, tons of new marshmallows in Lucky Charms and so on?
J CHURCH- Granola, Corn Flakes, occasionally Captain Crunch with Crunch
Berries. That's it at best. I generally hate cereal and breakfast and
try to skip it.
ANNOY- What does the future hold for J Church do you think/hope?
J CHURCH- More records. More tours. Maybe a double album some day? Loads
ANNOY- What are your favorite albums of all time?
J CHURCH- London Calling - The Clash, Rites of
Spring LP, Harvest - Neil Young, Beggars
Can Be Choosers - Newtown Neurotics, Exile On Main Street
- Rolling Stones, New Day Rising - Hüsker Dü,
Cheap Tricks' Greatest Hits, that Mission of Burma double
album, the Beatles White Album, I dunno...
ANNOY- Any cool new or old bands you'd like to recommend or just tell
J CHURCH- Four Point Star are awesome. Guns and Wankers are great. Small
23 are cool.
ANNOY- What is your worst fear?
J CHURCH- No toilet paper at very key moments.
ANNOY- When do you think the vegetable invasion will begin and how?
J CHURCH- Vegetables? Ha! They don't stand a chance! F*ck vegetables!
All hail Junk Food Vegetarianism!
ANNOY- Who is responsible for writing the music and lyrics?
J CHURCH- For better or for worse, that would be me.
ANNOY- How did you, a California band, get involved with Dead Beat Records,
an Ohio label?
J CHURCH- They just wrote to us and got us on a good day. They seem to
be real nice guys. We had a couple of extra tunes from the Quetzalcoatl
album. The more recent single... well it's basically... it's somewhat
ANNOY- Where does bologna come from?
J CHURCH- Below the knee.
ANNOY- Who is your favorite relative and why?
J CHURCH- My uncle. He's a total f*ck up. Nah, my kid sister, Lori.
ANNOY- What is the secret meaning of "Open 25 Hours" music
J CHURCH- My favorite all night donut place has a big sign with that very
declaration. Hunt's Donuts on Mission at 20th. Very good stuff. Try the
ANNOY- Just how many jellybeans are in the jar, do you think? How'd you
come up with that?
J CHURCH- 594. I don't know why.
ANNOY- Any cool childhood tales to share?
J CHURCH- When I was in first grade, I was forced to take karate. I hated
it and my instructor was a dick. So one day, after a few sodas, I pissed
all over him in front of everyone. Not much of a story, but true.
ANNOY- What is your favorite article of clothing?
J CHURCH- My shoes.
ANNOY- What is your dream job?
J CHURCH- Haagen Daz taste tester.
REVERSE INTERVIEW! (give questions to these answers.)
ANNOY- It's sorta like wicker, ya know, but different, I can't describe
J CHURCH- What's your mama's underwear like?
ANNOY- Zachary or maybe Marmaduke.
J CHURCH- What will you name your first born?
ANNOY- I'd have to say 25 round, soft ones with serrated edges.
J CHURCH- If you could swallow anything in a laxative factory, what would
Well, that is all. I thank Lance and J Church heartily for their time
and great music. Keep the faith.
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